You're Not Alone
by Lilacheart
Summary: A partner story to Collapse d , telling the events of the story from Fai's point of view.
1. Chapter 1

You're Not Alone

Chapter One

_**Authors note: This story is written from Fai's point of view. It is a sort of partner story with Collapse(d); by reading this, you'll learn what Fai saw, heard, learned, and overall experienced. You can learn some details about what happened in Collapse(d) here. Or you can read this one first and learn a bit more by reading Collapse(d). Oh well.**_

_**One thing I want to clear up: I am NOT a yaoi shipper. The relationships in this story between Syaoran, Fai, and Kurogane are not yaoi, it's more of a "I need my friends or I swear my head is going to implode" sort of situation. I can't really say much more without ruining the premise of the story. I do not read Tsubasa online, so I probably have some of the facts wrong. Anyway, I hope you like it! ^_^**_

The large symbol that we have all come to know and love (sort of) appeared on the ground below, and not too long after, Mokona spit us out on the floor. The order was a little different this time. Sure, I still had my usual spot, third up in the pile, but Syaoran was on the bottom this time. I felt bad for the poor kid, but I couldn't help but laugh to myself. Mokona landed neatly on top of Sakura's head.

"We've arrived in the next world!" The little pork bun declared.

"This landing was a little better," Kurogane sighed, more to himself, if anything.

"For you, maybe," Syaoran snapped, probably a bit irritated. Again, I laughed, but I doubt he heard me. Sakura quickly stood up and held out her hand. "Thanks, Sakura-chan," I muttered to her as I took it and pulled myself to my feet. Kurogane cast Mokona an irritated glance. It just giggled. I smirked and turned to face Sakura. "You sure recovered a lot faster than usual," I told her. She'd only been unconcious moments ago. I smiled. I was pleased with the improvement. She seemed quite happy herself. As I glanced around, however, I had a feeling that any happiness or satisfaction we'd been feeling would not last long.

Almost all of the buildings around us had entirely collapsed. There was rubble everywhere. The only sign that the buildings had once stood was that the bases of some of them remained. Though what actually caught my attention was the blood. No matter where you looked, you'd find some of it. There was silver-blue liquid, presumably also blood, by the normal blood, somehow making the scene even nastier than it already was. The fact that there were no bodies in sight somehow seemed to make this worse. I think I would've preferred it if there _were_ bodies: at least we'd know what happened.

I heard the sound of gagging. My head shot up and looked at where it was coming from. Sakura. I frowned. Maybe it would've been much better if she were unconcious. Even Syaoran looked ill.

"Give us a moment," he muttered, gently placing a hand on Sakura's shoulder and guiding her behind a building.

"I think this might be a little too much for the children," I remarked, glancing over at Kurogane. He just grunted.

"Yeah, well, they'll just have to get used to it." I shook my head. Kurogane probably couldn't understand. Perhaps I couldn't, either. I'd never really been the understanding type, no matter how much I pretended.

The scene was so horrible, yet somehow, I couldn't look away. It reminded me...a bit too much of things I didn't want to remember.

I heard the two come back. "Is it day or night?" Syaoran wondered as he came into hearing distance. I looked up towards the sky. At first glance, it would probably appear to be somewhere just after sunset. But I didn't think so.

"I think it's morning. About 9:00 AM," I announced. I heard Kurogane sigh in annoyance. He probably knew I had no basis for this theory.

"What makes you think that?" He asked. I could almost feel his irritated glare. He seemed to be pretty good at getting his mood across.

"Just a feeling," I admitted, giving a fairly careless shrug. I turned to face Syaoran and Sakura. They seemed to have no further questions. Maybe they'd taken my clueless guess as a fact. I sighed to myself. I think they trusted me a little too much.

"It's too bad that we're in a wrecked world. I was hoping we'd be able to treat some of Syaoran-kun's wounds." If Kurogane had any wounds, maybe his, too, but he'd kill me if I said that aloud. Usually, this wouldn't stop me anyway, but I felt now wasn't the time. Syaoran turned his gaze to the floor. I wondered what was on his mind.

I started over towards Sakura, to ask her if she was OK. Obviously, she and Syaoran hadn't gone behind that building to make out, though admittedly, it would've been pretty funny if they had. As I did, however, I noticed something from the corner of my eye. I think I was the first one who did. A flaming figure, heading straight in our direction. I wasn't surprised when Syaoran was instantly in front of Sakura, ready to protect her from whatever this threat might've been.

"Syaoran-kun, I don't think that's--" I began. I didn't know what the creature was, but it wasn't coming off as a threat. But what did I know? Besides, he didn't seem to hear me anyway. I doubt I could've dragged him away from Sakura if I dared to try. Ah, teen love. I had no idea what it felt like. But it was so cute.

As the creature came closer, Syaoran dropped his arm back to his side, his eyes widening in shock. I recognized the flaming wolf as it came closer, too. Syaoran's kudan. Admittedly, I was pretty surprised, but I pretended not to be. This was the first time we'd been to a world twice, assuming this was Hanshin.

Which leads to the next important question--

"What the hell happened here?" Kurogane asked me.

...Well, there you go.

Syaoran crouched down to eye level with his Kudan. As soon as he did, the creature rested its head against his side. I actually found this sort of cute, despite the fact I could just feel trouble heading our way.

I wish I'd said something. I could pretty much hear those men coming. I like to think it wouldn't have mattered either way. At least it takes some of the self-hatred inside of me away. And makes me feel worse to think their deaths were inevitable. I just can't seem to win.

"Thank God, you're back..." It whispered to Syaoran. That probably should've been our first clue to run. But, of course, we didn't. Syaoran, trying to recover from his surprise, started running his hand across the wolf's back.

"What happened here?" He asked.

"Everything."

As if on cue, a bunch of men appeared around the corner. They all appeared around the same general age. They looked like they'd seen a lot of battles, too, judging by the scars, and maybe by the fact they just looked powerful.

"What the hell are they-" Kurogane began, only to fall quiet. I assumed that the last word was going to be 'doing'. And somehow, we seemed to be pretty content with seeing them followed by their kudans, radioactive drooling monster creatures, as an answer.

Just goes to show you how used we are to seeing messed up things by this point.

"Welcome back, Syaoran," The kudan said, seeming to straighten up. Syaoran got up as well, seeming more than slightly confused. "Get ready to fight for your life."

Sakura, by this point, was hiding behind Kurogane. We really should've taught her how to use a weapon, maybe given her a sword, or a gun. But there was no use dwelling on the fact now.

"What happened here?" Syaoran half hissed in frustration, half sighed in annoyance. "How long have I been gone?"

"One hundred and twenty eight years. I know time flows differently in each dimension, but I would've thought you'd at least grow a little taller."

I couldn't help it. I laughed. Especially at the incredulous way Syaoran asked "Are you calling me short?"

A creepy looking, red-eyed man stepped out in front of his group and over to Syaoran. I missed whatever conversation Syaoran, the man, and his Kudan had, mainly because it was hard to hear over the snarling of the other Kudan. I was desperately trying to work out how Sakura, Kurogane, and I were going to fight. Kurogane had long since unsheathed his sword, though I knew it wasn't going to be any use. Well, not enough to kill or ward off these creatures. And I wasn't going to use magic unless it was to protect Sakura, Kurogane, or Syaoran, and even then, as a last resort.

"Are you fighting or not!?" The Kudan's angry words snapped me back to the current situation, as the monsters leapt at all of us. We all leapt out of the way. I tried to keep tabs on everyone, but the monsters obscured my view of Syaoran fairly quickly. I decided that, at the moment, I'd have to look after Kurogane and Sakura.

Look after Kurogane. If he'd heard me say that, he would've killed me.

"Get down!" Kurogane yelled to Sakura, pulling her towards the concrete as a monsters tail flew over our heads. (I took Kurogane's advice, might I add.) I whistled. That's not what most people would do, but for me, it made sense. A barrier formed around us as the monster turned around and leapt at us, claws unsheathed. The barrier didn't hold for the impact, but it held it back for at least that one blow.

I guess that was all it required. I saw large bird fly overhead towards me.

"Fai!!" It yelled.

It was my Kudan. I smiled and let out a short sigh of relief.

"Hold on a minute..." It scooped up one of the monsters and tossed it against a building. Needless to say, I was more than glad to see it. It landed right in front of me.

"Good to see you!" It chirped pleasantly.

"And you," I responded. The bird dispersed into some sort of aura around me, and said aura leapt up as a shield for the next attack struck. On my command, it lashed out at the creature's paws. It actually managed to do some damage, and Kurogane and Sakura darted off in an attempt to find safety.

My kudan did its best to protect me as I dodged blow after blow. I'd never been much of a fighter, unlike Kurogane or Syaoran.

"Syaoran!!" Sakura screamed.

Speaking of him...

If the situation weren't this serious, I would've asked her where the honorific went. But at that point, I was more worried about why she was screaming Syaoran's name at the top of her lungs. It wasn't hard to find the answer. Syaoran was currently struggling in the mouth of a giant dog-like kudan. It was slowly sinking its teeth into his ribs and stomach, and, despite the fact I knew he could take a lot of pain, he screamed. His kudan materialized around his arm.

The wind picked up around me. He would get himself out of that creature's mouth, I was sure of it, but it wouldn't be any good if he didn't survive the fall.

Taking flight, and mentally thanking my kudan for enabling me to do something like this without magic, I moved as fast as I could towards him. I was below the monsters face, out of its line of vision, when it finally released Syaoran. I caught his arm as he fell. He looked up at me and smiled in relief, though I could see the pained look in his eyes from his wounds. I almost cringed as I realized these wounds were piling onto his old ones as well. That had to hurt.

As if reading my mind, he very quietly muttered "This sucks."

Syaoran, I now crown you, the master of the understatement.

"It does," I agreed with a nod. As his kudan formed a platform underneath him, at least ensuring he wouldn't fall to his death, I leapt back down towards the battle.

Sakura and Kurogane had been effectively split up. I knew, without a doubt, that Syaoran had Sakura's safety as his number one priority, probably above his own. Yes, I was worried about her anyway. I was worried about all of us. But Syaoran had a kudan and could protect her, I should probably protect Kurogane.

Again, if I said that aloud, I'd die in my sleep.

Then again, looking at my own past, and remembering my own curses, I sometimes wish I would. But I digress.

I landed beside him just in time to deflect a flying spike from one of the attacking monsters.

"Are you alright, mage!?" He called over his shoulder.

"I'm going to pretend you didn't ask me that, and instead ask you!" I called back as I lashed out at the monsters face with my kudan. He grunted in irritation.

"I'm fine!" Kurogane was doing a surprisingly amazing job holding off the monsters using only his sword. It was good that we only had two monsters to fend off, and not all of the five current attackers. (Though I do believed there were more men than this.)

"I'm surprised you haven't used any of your sword tactics!" I noted aloud.

"I'm saving it for a last ditch effort," he sighed, more to himself. I assumed this battle, along with the one he'd fought not to long ago in the last world, had worn him out, though he was definitely deny it if you asked.

"SAKURA!!!" Syaoran screamed. I spun around in alarm, but, ironically, I didn't get to see what had happened. I felt a large paw collide with my back and send me flying across the floor.

"Damnit!" Kurogane snarled, dodging as one of the monsters bent down and tried to bite Kurogane in two. He plunged his sword into its muzzle...which somehow caused its master to scream instead of the creature itself. Well, using a real weapon on a creature that represents its master's soul _probably _isn't very good for the master, I assumed...

I noticed, whatever had happened with Sakura and Syaoran, they were down for the count. I could see a fire barrier around the two, isolating them from the world they were on. Fear gripped my heart. Oh god...I hadn't wanted to get attached to those kids like this...but if one of them was hurt, or worse...

The five monsters, and all of their masters, were attacking us now. I couldn't keep up, maybe it was because I was so panicked, but Kurogane would probably have slapped me and just told me we were outnumbered. Which we were, I guess.

I tried my hardest to fight them all off.

In the end, Kurogane was unable to block about three claws coming at him at once. One of the claws to his right slashed deep into his side. Far too deep. The other cut right through his ribs. Kurogane's eyes flew open in shock.

"Kurogane-san!" I yelled, dropping any nickname I might've decided to give him on a regular occasion. I freaked out so much at that moment that my kudan actually had to step out of my command and defend me.

"Damn...it...mage..." He grunted as my Kudan protected me from a lethal blow. He fell to his knees, then shook his head once more, trying desperately to keep a hold on his blade as he got to his feet using sheer willpower. Wow.

"Hama-...Ryu...O-Jin!!" With whatever pent up energy he had left, the beam of light energy exploded from his sword. However, it wasn't hard to see the desperateness of the attempt. The magic was ragged, unlike it usually was, and was a bit duller. I didn't actually see the damage it did. When the attack was complete, he fell to his knees, then his side. He wasn't ever getting back up, I knew. But I silently begged otherwise.

I had pretty much considered Kurogane invincible, up to this point. Admittedly, the very last thing I wanted to do was outlive him. Or Sakura. Or Syaoran.

I ran over to his side while my Kudan tried it's hardest to hold off the monsters. We had...probably ten seconds. Maybe fifteen, tops.

I saw his gaze was fixed beyond some of the monsters. I followed his stare to where the flame barrier had once been. It was gone. Syaoran was there in its place. In his arms, was a limp Sakura. Her arms were around his neck, her head on his shoulder. The way she seemed so peaceful taunted me. It was almost as if she was sleeping. But no one could overlook the claw that ran through her body. Her skin was pale, her eyes were closed, her chest wasn't rising and falling. Syaoran clutched her as if the world would end if he let go, as if the universe depended on it. There were tears on his face. Admittedly, they were more silent tears, and maybe a couple of real ones he probably couldn't feel. Sakura was dead.

"Kill him," Kurogane snarled, fighting for breath. I turned to look at him. "The leader of this group," he added quickly as his body began shaking. Kurogane couldn't die...Sakura didn't deserve this...this _couldn't _be happening...

"I don't care if its you or the kid...one of you kill the damned bastard," he panted. "Avenge the princess."

"You can't die!" I yelled. My kudan screeched in fury, and maybe sadness, if it felt even a fraction of what I did.

Kurogane laughed. Yes. He _laughed._ I still wonder how he pulled it off.

"You two look after each other, alright?" His eyes fell half shut. "I'm sorry..." His voice trailed off, and the color drained from his eyes. There was still a protective look in them, as if he'd died with his eyes open because he wanted to watch out for his student and the princess.

At that moment, my kudan's defense system failed, and a beast knocked it aside. I felt a paw all but pin me to the floor, as the group leader walked over to Kurogane.

"Stop!!" I yelled, only to feel the pressure on my back increase. I couldn't die...I couldn't leave Syaoran to handle this alone...and where the heck had Mokona gone? I shut up. The group leader took off his pendant, and opened another slit in Kurogane's throat. Every single last part of me wanted to protest to this, but when I struggled, the weight on my back increased dangerously. Hating myself a little bit more than I already had, I could only watch as the blood flowed onto the pendant, which glowed silver. Then the man put it back on. I noticed it was a lot less dull now, but for some reason, I hated that. A lot.

"We're done here," the man announced.

"Do we kill this man?" Someone asked, looking at me. Somehow, the group had completely forgotten about Syaoran and Sakura. Admittedly, it made me think of them as stupid, (I'd never seen them as bright anyway, this didn't help,) but at the same time, I was grateful. As a matter of fact, I don't think I've ever been more grateful to see a group of, in Kurogane-speak, 'bastards', with short term memory.

"Bind his Kudan. We'll search for him next time. No point in killing perfectly good game and wasting it." Game? I obviously couldn't ask. Maybe my Kudan would tell me later.

The pressure was released. Dark vines swirled around my kudan, which plummeted and fell still beside me, though I could see it was alive. The group turned around and began to walk away. I stood up. My first thought was 'ow', and my second was to go and talk to Syaoran.

How was I going to break this to him!? He and Sakura were in love. We all knew that. Now Sakura was dead, and I had to tell him that his mentor was gone, too. I couldn't remember ever feeling this horrible. Believe me when I say _'that is REALLY saying something.'_

I took Kurogane's sword from his hand. If we were going to do something about that group's leader, we were going to have to make it fast. And what better way to do it with Kurogane's sword? I doubted he was going to complain.

I briskly walked over to the brown haired kid, but was feeling uncertain about trying to get his attention. I certainly didn't want to deliver this bad news, but if we wanted to pull of Kurogane's dying wish, we were going to have to do it now, fast, and by surprise. This didn't make it any easier. I placed a hand on Syaoran's shoulder.

"Syaoran-kun?" I asked, as quietly as possible. I noticed that I'd started crying at some point. Probably earlier than I could recall. Syaoran looked back over at me, his eyes showing he'd probably been out of it for a while.

"It's over." I had been talking about the battle, of course, but I guess I meant a lot of things. The lives of two comrades. Two segments of the journey. The two star-crossed lovers. (You all know Syaoran and Sakura were.) It felt horrible. The words left a foul taste in my mouth, for some reason.

"...She's gone," Syaoran forced himself to say. I heard his voice trembled. I felt so bad for the kid...and I had to make it worse, didn't I? I'd have to do this quick...

"Not just her."

I took a moment or two. Why was I trying to say this to Syaoran when I couldn't even wrap my mind around it?

His eyes flew open wide, as he worked it out before I even said it. "Where's Kurogane!?"

I couldn't respond. Gently placing down the sword, I lifted Sakura out of his arms. She was such a good girl...kind, honest, loyal...this wasn't what she deserved. It wasn't what Syaoran deserved either: To have his first love torn away from him before his eyes. Kurogane, neither. He'd genuinely cared for the two kids, acting as their father. (I hadn't been making those jokes in previous dimensions for nothing.) And Mokona had always been loving and empathetic. Whether I deserved this was a different story entirely. But none of these people had. I placed her on the ground and picked up Kurogane's blade, gently pressing it in Syaoran's hands. It was covered in silver-blue blood. The silence felt long, but it was no more than a couple of seconds. I could see the fury building in his eyes. The murderous hatred in his gaze actually scared me a little bit. His grip tightened around the sword. I assumed we were both on the same page as Kurogane had been. It was just a matter of concience.

"If it makes you feel any better, Kurogane wanted you to avenge Sakura." I didn't feel bad encouraging him at all. I think he would've gone over the edge, even if I weren't there. (I think if I'd died as well, honestly, he might've commited suicide. I wondered if he was thinking about it at that moment. I wouldnt't blame him. It certainly crossed my mind.)

Before I could even blink, the kid took off, his kudan in stride beside him. I probably looked on far too coldly as a sixteen year old boy murdered a grown man. All I could think about was what they'd done to us. We weren't any better than those men, if you want to think about it like that, but I didn't give a damn back then. Nor did my Kudan, who had gotten up and was standing beside me.

"How many lives have those men taken?" I asked it.

"You have no idea," was the only thing it would say. It's up to you whether this justifies anything. Even Syaoran's kudan didn't look ashamed as it came back. Syaoran, however, was a different story. Not ashamed. Just miserable. I was about to mention the pendant, but then I saw it in his hand, and decided to keep my mouth shut. He stopped in front of me, absolutely quiet, gaze fixed on the floor. I was about to put a hand on his shoulder, but something forced me to retract it. Maybe it was just the misery coming off in waves, or maybe I thought that he'd be angry. Or, maybe I was feeling the same, and I should deal with my own issues first, or I'd make his worse.

"Where's Mokona?" He finally murmured.

"Here," Mokona said, somewhere from in my kudan's feathers.

HOW had it gotten there!? I'd have to ask it later. By it's tone of voice...

"Does it know?" Syaoran asked. I shook my head. Mokona was going to be just as broken as we were, I assumed. I bet it could feel our emotions from miles away, let alone from right next to us.

I noticed Syaoran was looking at Kurogane. I stared at the two. This was his mentor he was staring at. Dead. I had a feeling there would be nothing I could do to make him feel better. I didn't even try. The full extent of the wounds were difficult to see from a distance. I was almost glad that Syaoran couldn't see them all: The slit throat, a few snapped or exposed ribs...

"Why did it have to be Kurogane and Sakura?"

It's not Syaoran's fault, but that question was going to haunt me for the rest of my life. I had no idea why it had to be those two. I desperately wished it hadn't been.

And I didn't know, but maybe their early deaths had bumped them up a level of respect. I wasn't sure. I didn't care.

"What happened!?" Mokona squeaked in sudden alarm, hopping out of my Kudan's feathers.

"Mokona, get us out of here," Syaoran coughed out desperately. He had a point. If we had any more encounters with the gangs here, we might've ended up following Sakura and Kurogane's footsteps. And if Mokona learned about the death of its comrades before we got out, it would make leaving very difficult for it.

"...Do you think it'd be alright if I came along?" Syaoran's kudan asked him. I knew he was worried about coming off as unsympathetic or worse. But we owed the two kudan a lot. They'd saved our lives out here, so why would we just desert them?

"Yes," I answered. I glanced over at my Kudan and nodded towards it, letting it know I was referring to it, too. It lowered its head in respect for both of us.

I headed over towards Kurogane as Syaoran moved to pick up Sakura. I took Kurogane's blade from him and dropped it next to the ninja.

"Get us out of here," Syaoran repeated.

"Did something happen?" Mokona whimpered. I could see it half-praying for the best. It could see something was up. It knew what we were feeling.

"Don't think about it, let's get somewhere safe," I told it. The best thing to do was to be sure it stayed calm. Even if I had to shove aside my own grief in the process. Mokona gave a nod and leapt into the air, wings unfurling. It stayed absolutely silent, probably scared half to death by ours.

I don't know what Syaoran'd kudan said to him, as both of them faded into glowing orbs and headed towards us. Though when I heard him say "It had nothing to do with you," I figured those two were going to be stuck in self blame for a while. Kurogane had been an expert at snapping Syaoran out of that state. I wasn't, really. I'd have to try my best.

"It wasn't your fault, alright?" My Kudan said. "It was neither of yours."

I gave a half hearted smile. "Yeah," I whispered, keeping my tone low. I didn't want Syaoran to misinterpret that and think I was blaming him. We were then all inhaled.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter Two**_

The wind dispersed around us, giving us our view of the scenery. This pretty much consisted of trees. A forest. It appeared much safer than where we'd been before. I didn't even look at Syaoran and Mokona, nor did I look at the bodies of our fallen comrades.

"Sakura!!" Mokona bawled, and I heard it hopping across the floor over to Syaoran. "Sakura!!!"

"She's dead," Syaoran choked out. "So is Kurogane." The devastation in his voice hurt. I could hear he was trying not to cry. I knew he was a strong kid, so...

Was losing them supposed to hurt this much? I hadn't intended to grow so close to the group. I felt the tears flood into my eyes. I couldn't protect my own brother, and now, I had to lose the princess and the ninja, too...

"SAKURA!! KUROGANE!!!" Mokona's heartbroken wail was just a bit too much, and I felt the tears begin to run down my face. I still couldn't look at them. I felt Mokona's small paws wrap around my leg as it sobbed. It did its best to stifle the sound it made by burying it's face into my pant leg, as well. It did a pretty good job. Other than it's muffled sniffles, there was absolute silence.

This was why I shouldn't have bonded with Sakura and Kurogane, and not even Syaoran. I had known something like this might happen. I knew what Syaoran was, too. I had known for a long time. Why was it that the only thing I could do was inflict bad luck on myself and others?

Syaoran yelled, suddenly and loudly. He spun around, and there was the harsh, cringe-worthy sound of his fist hitting the trunk of the nearest tree. I glanced over my shoulder. The boy's whole body was shaking. I wondered what he was thinking. He appeared to be in some sort of shocked state. Not that I was surprised. Blood ran down his hand and onto the dirt beside him as he fell to his knees. I noted his broken arm. I assumed he hardly remembered these injuries.

I shoved my pain aside as I walked up behind him. I really doubted he knew I was there anymore. Gently, I placed a hand on his shoulder. There was a long silence, and I was completely prepared for the next thing he said:

"I...I need to be alone."

I nodded sympathetically and turned around, walking amongst a couple of trees. I'd give him time.

I sat down a fair distance away, as my kudan materialized beside me.

"Fai's sad," it sighed. I nodded. "Yeah."

I didn't say it, but I'm sure anyone could've worked that out. Mokona had disappeared somewhere, too. I guess even the pork bun needed to be alone. Hell, I think we all did.

"It's OK to be sad. I've lost a lot of friends in Hanshin, too."

I never really considered that kudan could have friends. But after what I'd just seen, was I surprised? No.

"And it hurt," it continued. "So it's OK." I noticed that it's voice was very child-like. It reminded me of Mokona. Only about fifty five times bigger. And a bird, not a rabbit/pork bun.

It lowered its head to make proper eye contact. I gently placed a hand on its beak. It chirped and rested its chin on my shoulder. Suddenly, its head shot up.

"I think your son's up to something," it remarked.

"My---...Syaoran-kun is not my son...!" I retorted in shock. My kudan laughed. Hard. I don't know what it found amusing. Or maybe I just missed it somehow.

"Come on, let's go!" It swirled into its orb form and led the way.

I stopped back at the main set of trees. Syaoran was standing by his kudan, and right in front of him was...Kurogane. Or, at least, he _looked_ like Kurogane. Only he was silver. Sort of like the color of the pendant. Only that pendant was gone, now. I could add two plus two. My kudan entered my heart as I crouched down and listened.

I must've missed some of the conversation between the two, and Syaoran must've said something really stupid, because Kurogane drew back his hand and struck him, _hard._ If my kudan hadn't told me something was up, I'm sure I would've been able to hear it from where I had been standing and worked it out myself. Syaoran only looked surprised for a second, but the surprise was quickly replaced by a look that can only be described as the 'I deserved that' look.

"Stop dwelling on the past, kid!" Kurogane snapped. "I'm dead, there's nothing you can do about that. Look forward." Well, Kurogane seemed to be pretty accustomed to the situation already. I mean, he's dead, and he just slapped his apprentice. If that doesn't tell you something, I don't know what does.

"While you're at it..." The ninja continued. Syaoran tilted his head in curiosity. He seemed to have regained his composure a bit. If you're _talking_ to the dead guy, it's a bit hard to feel bad that they're gone, I suppose.

"When you next see that magician, tell him that he needs to tell you the whole truth. What he's running from, why...I mean _everything._ If you're going to be stuck with him, you need to know exactly why he's running."

I flinched, causing the leaves around me to rustle slightly. Syaoran, however, didn't seem to notice, instead nodding.

"But...what am I supposed to do?" He asked.

_Discover your purpose in life like I have to, if I have one? Move forward? _I thought.

"That's easy: Keep the magician out of trouble," Kurogane answered.

_Oh, that too._

"Kurogane...? Thanks. You were kind of like my father...in a more...violent way...and you taught me how to fight with a sword. It may seem stupid, but it means a lot to me. Thank you."

I smiled. So did Kurogane, which was nice, as I thought he might brush if off and tell him to stop being a sap. I saw him turn his glance over to Sakura's dead body. I forced myself to follow it, but even looking at her caused me to wince. _No one_ deserved to go out that way, especially not her.

"I might want to suggest getting that claw out of the girl's back, if you can stomach doing that," Kurogane told Syaoran. I decided that I would help him do that after these guys were done with their conversation.

Syaoran shook his head slowly. "Probably not."

"Well, depends, the girl's soul might be trapped in it. Seems like souls could be trapped easily in the last world we went to."

Trust Kurogane to jump straight to the point. The kid in front of him nodded. Kurogane suddenly knelt down in front of the boy and placed his hand by Syaoran's right eye. For some reason, this forced me back to the flaming wolf's (Blaze, he'd been called?) statement about Syaoran's height. It wasn't that he was short, it was that the two adults he hung around with were tall. I knew exactly what Kurogane was checking for, but Syaoran obviously didn't. "What are you...?" He began. The question went unfinished as Kurogane got back to his feet.

"...Looks like that seal is no longer needed," He muttered to himself. "Kid's grown a heart."

I even found myself letting out a sigh of relief. The very last thing that I needed was that seal to break and for him to lose his heart. The loss of Kurogane and Sakura was enough. I noticed that I didn't feel as sad as I had before, knowing that Kurogane's, and probably Sakura's, souls were still with us.

"What are you talking about?" Syaoran asked uneasily. I shook my head. I wondered if Kurogane would actually tell him. Would he ever need to know? It would probably only make him feel worse...

"It's not important. It's best left unknown." I silently nodded my agreement. He placed a hand on Syaoran's head. The look the kid gave him reminded me of a lost puppy. I guess it made sense, I thought with a smile. They were the puppy pair.

Too bad big doggy was dead.

"You're a good kid. Take care of yourself, alright?"

"I will," Syaoran said with little hesitation. I smiled. Still determined. I was glad. I saw Kurogane inconspicuously cast me a glance. Inwardly, I chuckled, unsurprised. In return, I gave him one of most forced smiles I'd ever given. He rolled his eyes, and with a gust of wind, he disappeared.

Syaoran turned around to face Sakura, his kudan standing up from where it had been watching the whole scene.

"Any chance her soul could be in that claw?" Syaoran asked, casting Blaze a glance that was half hopeful, half nervous.

"...I'd almost guaruntee it. Do you have the courage to talk to her, if by chance, her soul comes out and talks to you?"

Syaoran shook his head. "No, but I have to."

I figured now was a good time to intervene and maybe help him out. He gently flipped the princess onto her back. I noted how he almost seemed worried that he's hurt her more if he was too rough. I highly doubted he was thinking about this too much. Treating the girl as if she were fragile, and protecting her from anything dangerous seemed to be built into his subconscience. I stepped out from behind the tree and walked towards him.

"What are you doing?" I asked, faking cluelessness, just as I'd faked a lot of my emotions.

"You know," Syaoran muttered. He didn't seem angry. More casual, maybe curious. "You were watching the whole thing. I heard you tense when Kurogane said you needed to tell me everything."

I really should've known I couldn't sneak up on him. He'd learned from Kurogane. Still, I couldn't help but sigh aloud. I didn't want to tell him why I'd traveled with them all. It would require telling him my past, which almost literally felt like a bunch of cruel gods had dumped a bucket of angst fuel on my head, no matter how much time passed. It required telling him what a coward I was. It required telling him how I'd murdered my own brother. It probably also involved betraying his trust. I didn't want to do any of that.

"I'll get back to you on that," I finally decided. "Come on."

Syaoran and I both gripped the claw and pulled until it slid out. I released it so Syaoran could do what he was supposed to with it, which consisted of giving it to Blaze so he could set it on fire, I guess. The blood that poured out of the girl's body almost made me sick. It almost felt as if I was staring at the dead body of my little sister.

Except I don't have a little sister. So I really need to shut up.

Syaoran's sharp intake of breath caused me to look up to see Sakura, who had wrapped her arms tightly around Syaoran. Syaoran seemed uncertain for a moment, then he gently hugged her as well. I knew I was supposed to feel bad, and I did, but I couldn't help but also think "Awww." I felt I had no right to say anything about the situation, and I seriously considered just getting up and leaving. But I decided against it.

"I'm sorry," Sakura whispered.

"You've got nothing to be sorry about," Syaoran answered.

_Neither of you do,_ I thought.

"And nor do you, so stop scolding yourself."

I couldn't help but smile. I think Blaze said something, but I missed it.

"Listen, I know it sounds corny, but I'll always be with you. Even when you change dimension. I'll always be there. Don't worry about me, OK?"

The two stared at one another for a long moment, then Syaoran turned his head away. I could see tears welling up in his eyes. How often had I seen this kid cry before? Twice? Once when Sakura couldn't remember him in Hanshin, and twice after he saw Kurogane's past (whatever it had been) in a memory book. It made me feel bad for him.

"Being sad is fine, Syaoran. I'm sad. I'm not hiding it." He looked back up, though he seemed worried about doing so. I guess he thought he was supposed to be stronger than this. Maybe I was just looking too much into it. I sighed aloud. He was only a kid. And just because he was a boy didn't mean he wasn't allowed to cry.

"Here," Sakura murmured. And then she kissed him. And he kissed her back.

"...Did Mokona miss something?" It asked as it hopped out of the bushes. Then it stopped. "...How long have they been at this?"

Syaoran: The master of the understatement. Mokona: The master of horrible timing.

"Not too long," I told it as the two parted. It giggled halfheartedly, obviously thinking up some story to tell Yuuko.

"It's OK to be sad, but you don't need to worry about me."

Like that was going to stop him anyway. Sakura got to her feet and made her way towards me.

"Thanks. You were always like my big brother, Fai." I wondered where the honorifics had gone. I guess they didn't matter when you were dead. She gave me a long hug. For some reason, I couldn't help but think of all the times I'd lied to her, and everyone else in the group. I felt horrible, but instead of saying so, I forced a smile and gave her a hug, too.

"If you don't feel like smiling, then don't. Please," Sakura whispered. Without a word, I dropped the act. She let go, giving a short smile of approval. She crouched down to Mokona's height. "Be good, OK, Mokona? Don't get into trouble."

"Sakura..." Its voice was hard to hear. I was almost afraid it'd start bawling again. I could imagine Sakura might've stayed a little longer to comfort it. But it took an even breath and gave a smile. In a voice even more quiet than it had been before, it said something that sounded like 'OK.'

You have to give it credit. That must've been hard. I believe it continued talking to Sakura for a short moment, but I couldn't hear it. Syaoran probably had no idea that it said anything.

"Thanks, all of you, for everything. Don't worry if you can't see me, I will be there, OK?" She turned her head and gave a light smile at Blaze. "Take care of Syaoran," she told it in a playful teasing tone. Syaoran laughed. I admired the effort he gave. At least he tried. But listening to it sort of hurt, because he still sounded heartbroken. Sakura's playful smile faded into a sad, possibly apologetic one. She disappeared with the wind, just as Kurogane had.

"I assume we should bury their bodies somewhere," Blaze muttered, it's tone cautious as to not shove the facts at us. "Syaoran and Fai need their time to grieve. Do you want to help me out, Mokona?"

"It probably needs its time to grieve, too," Syaoran pointed out. I agreed with him, and I was about to suggest putting off any sort of burial at the moment, when Mokona hopped forward.

"Mokona will help," it declared, trying to sound enthusiastic about being helpful. (Like a lot of our attempts to sound happy today, this fell flat on its face.) Mokona disappeared among a pile of tree roots, Blaze faded into the shadows. _How does a fire wolf disappear into shadows?_ I wondered.

"Are you going to tell me what we do now?" Syaoran asked nervously. So he assumed I had a clue. Admittedly, I was surprised. He'd never really asked _me_ what we were supposed to do next. I was just following him and helping him collect feathers. I guess that goal was gone.

I shook my head. "I'm still working it out." This actually meant 'I have no idea and haven't really thought about it in the slighest.' "Be patient, alright? If you can get any sleep, I recommend trying. We'll probably have to bury those two tomorrow." I could feel the tears come to my eyes with that statement. Burying them felt like declaring their death officially. And it was already official, really. They w_ere_ dead, there was nothing we could do to reverse that. And I hated it.

I did what I seemed to do best: I shoved the thought away. Instead, I added "Be careful with that arm of yours." While my mind was on that subject, I realized Syaoran seriously needed medical care. He still had those wounds from the library, though he didn't seem to remember them. Sometimes, I wondered if I cared more for his wellbeing than he did. I certainly didn't care much for mine.

"OK." His voice was quiet. I gave a sigh. Poor kid. He stood there, his face hard to read for a while, and then he finally lied down, his eyes falling shut. It took a surprisingly short time for him to fall asleep. He must've been exhausted. I got to my feet. I probably needed to rest as well, but I just didn't think I could right now. Instead, I walked through the trees to where Mokona and Blaze were.

"Need help?" I offered the two. Blaze seemed surprised, but Mokona just seemed plain weary. It looked like it was asleep on its feet. "I'll take your place, if you want, Mokona," I offered, kneeling in front of it. It held its paws out into the air. "Could Fai carry Mokona?"

...Aww.

I picked up the white pork bun and carried it back through the trees, to where Syaoran was. I placed it beside him. Tiredly, it slipped into his pants pocket. In about a few seconds, I could hear it snoring.

With a smile, I turned and headed back through the trees, to where Blaze was. My kudan appeared beside me and we continued digging for Mokona. We were silent for the most part. When we were finally done, the fire wolf turned to face me.

"I'm sorry for your loss," he murmured. "I'm sorry for butting into your lives like this."

I shook my head. "It's no trouble at all, really. If it weren't for you guys, we'd all be dead."

It gave a sigh. "Is there any way I can help my master?"

I couldn't help but find that kind of cute. "Give him time," I said with a shrug.

"Is that how I can help my master, too?" My kudan said hopefully. I gave a light chuckle. "Yeah, I guess I need time as well."

"I think you also need a friend," Blaze suggested. "Your kudan's there to help you if you need to talk. So am I. And so is Syaoran."

They wouldn't understand. But I lied and nodded anyway. "Don't wake up Syaoran-kun," I told Blaze. "He needs his rest. You should rest, too."

"And you," it suggested before walking back through the trees.

"Can Fai and I be friends?" My kudan asked. I nodded.

"Sure!" I said enthusiastically. The exact opposite of how I felt. I seemed to do this a lot.

"Please don't sound happy if you're not happy. Didn't Sakura ask the same thing?"

I sighed. "It's kind of how I do things."

"It'd be best for everyone, most of all yourself, if you broke that habit. At least try. We'll all help every step of the way."

I shrugged. "We'll see."

It lied down. "I'm going to rest," it told me. I nodded slightly before lying down and staring at the 'sky'. The sky was covered by the trees. There was no way of knowing what time it was. I stared on anyway. My kudan turned into a silver orb and floated into my chest. My eyes fell shut.

Maybe I had been exhausted and just hadn't known, because when I next opened my eyes, I could tell some time had passed. As I sat up, my back snapped at least three times. The joys of back pain. I pushed to my feet and walked back through the trees. If we were going to bury the two, it was better we did it sooner than later. The more we put it off, the more it would hurt when we finally had to do it.

I found Syaoran exactly where he'd been when I left him. And I mean that literally. He didn't appear to have moved. At all. I guess this disturbed me, when combined with the fact he was completely pale and his face had an expression of pain on it.

"Syaoran-kun?" I muttered. Nothing. I got down beside him, grabbed his shoulder, and shook him back and forth gently. When there was no response, I began to panic, shaking him a bit more violently. "Syaoran-kun!" I repeated. Again, no response.

Maybe I shouldn't have been so worried. But after yesterday's events, I wasn't taking any chances. I couldn't lose Syaoran as well.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter Three**_

Trying to work out if this was anything serious, I placed two fingers on his neck, feeling for a pulse. His pulse was normal. I suppose this calmed me down a bit, but it didn't explain why he wasn't waking up. Upon analyzing, I noticed that his breathing seemed slightly panicked.

"Syaoran-kun..." I muttered for the third time. I didn't want to violently shake him back and fourth again. I placed him back down against the floor and put my fingers back on his neck.

I didn't want to use magic. I'd told myself I wouldn't when I removed the tattoo Ashura-ou had given me. But if it was for someone elses life, and not my own, fine. Small sparks of magic began jumping off my fingers as I focused.

"Sorry about this..." I murmured, unsure if he could hear me anyway. The magic traveled from my fingertips into his body, delivering a small jolt. The reaction was almost immediate. Syaoran's eyes flew open, and he shot upright. He looked around frantically for a moment, then his eyes finally stopped on mine. There was a look of confusion in them.

"Syaoran-kun...are you alright?" I asked nervously. There was a short silence, and he seemed distant for a second before he shook his head almost inperceptibly. He placed his and on his neck. "I'm fine. What was that for?"

"You weren't waking up, so I had to try the magic alternative. Were you having a dream of some sort? What happened?" I was relieved to see him awake, but I desperately wanted to know what that had been about. Why hadn't he been waking up? Was it worth worrying about? If he didn't even know, then I'd think so.

It took me a minute to realize that Syaoran had completely lost himself in his thought. I placed a hand on his shoulder and shook him gently. "Syaoran-kun?"

"...I don't want to talk about it," he finally murmured. I sighed to myself, trying to put the pieces together and come up with something that made sense.

"Was it a nightmare about Sakura?" I guessed, feeling a sense of grief wash over me as I spoke her name. If I felt that way, I couldn't imagine what he felt about her loss. I replaced my own grief with sympathy for the kid.

"Y-Yeah," he said, his gaze turning to the ground. "It was."

I wondered whether or not to cut to the chase or postpone the burial due to Syaoran's nightmare. With a sigh, I decided for what felt like the tenth time that putting it off wasn't going to help.

"We can bury Kurogane-san and Sakura-chan now. Blaze came back to tell us, but you were already asleep."

Syaoran nodded and got to his feet. I smiled slightly to myself, glad that he was OK, at least.

"Where's Mokona?" he asked. It took me a second to remember.

"In your pocket."

"...Right." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the sleepy little pork bun. It blinked its eyes for a moment, then...they fell shut again. It's not like its eyes were open much anyway. It turned to face Syaoran.

"We're going to bury them now," he whispered.

"Oh..." Mokona whimpered. I noticed that both of them were on the verge of tears. I quickly wiped my eyes dry before either of them could notice my tears as well.

"It's OK," Syaoran assured it. He gently placed it on the shoulder of his injured arm and placed a hand on his back. It clung to his neck. The scene was both heartwrenching and sort of sweet.

We both made our way through the trees, and stopped by the graves. I stared at the two holes...and I felt my eyes narrow in confusion when I saw one of the holes had been ncha cannoned a bit deeper.

"I slept through a bit," Syaoran muttered.

"Me too," I mumbled to myself, casting a glance over at Mokona. It glanced back at me, and gave a gentle, cheeky grin before its face fell again.

I noticed that Syaoran was staring at the two bodies. He mouthed a swear word. I wondered briefly if this was going to be too much for him.

"Are you going to help us or not?" I asked. He gave a short nod. "OK."

Syaoran took Sakura's body. Blaze appeared beside him, giving him a hand. (No pun intended about Syaoran's broken arm.) My kudan, Mokona, and I took Kurogane's body and lowered it into the grave. I tried desperately not to think about it too much. That failed, like a lot of different things had since...was it yesterday? (I don't know how long I was asleep.)

I wanted to say something about them before we filled the holes. I failed to find anything decent, so I said nothing. I was sure that the memories we had of the times we had spent traveling together would suffice. Yet throughout the whole thing, I felt horrible for all the lies I'd told all of them.

"I might want to do the next part," Blaze told Syaoran. My kudan cast me a glance that said he'd handle this, too. Syaoran turned away, his eyes closed. I turned away as well, as the two worked on filling the graves. I felt sort of empty as they did so. I also only _just_ realized how introspective I was feeling since they died. I figured Syaoran wasn't thinking so much about how he felt as much as he was feeling lost. But who knows? I'm not a mindreader.

I glanced back at the graves. They were filled. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to stop the tears. I glanced over at Syaoran. I opened my mouth to tell him that it was done, when I saw the blood running down his fingers. I quickly darted over to him. He was digging his fingers into his wrist. And he was digging them pretty deep in, at that. I grabbed his arm.

"Don't mutilate yourself now," I said, trying to suppress my shock. He was staring blankly at his bloody wrist.

"...Does it matter...?" He asked. I felt extremely nervous with those words, the nervousness mingled with shock. Had something else happened?

"Yes, it does," I told him.

"Why?"

...What sort of question was that? I didn't know what to say, I couldn't completely understand where all of this was coming from. I wondered, with worry, if he was falling into depression. I wouldn't be surprised. I was glad that I hadn't been killed back in Hanshin, especially since the chance had come up. His state might've been a lot worse than this.

He stood up rather abruptly. I watched him unsheathe Kurogane's sword. I was instantly on my feet, wondering what the hell he was thinking, (I was having a hard time understanding his motives at the moment,) but I calmed down as he walked over to Kurogane's grave. He drove it through the dirt, as far as it would go.

"It's his," he muttered. I was glad to hear he wasn't being defensive about the decision, since I agreed with it wholeheartedly. Syaoran had his own sword. "I shouldn't carry it with me."

I nodded shortly, building an idea in my own head for Sakura. She didn't have a sword, and I couldn't really think of much to leave her...unless...

Did I like breaking my promise to myself? Or was it just that Sakura was that important to me?

I crouched by her resting place and sunk my fingers lightly into the dirt, concentrating. The wind picked up around me, and around the grave. A small tree sprout appeared in the dirt in front of my fingers, and with great speed, continued towards the sky. After what felt a lot like an hour later, I figured it was good. I pulled my hand back, feeling a little light-headed from the energy I'd used up in the process.

"...Is that a Sakura tree...?" Syaoran guessed. Or perhaps he knew. Either way, I wasn't surprised. I looked up at the tree, smiling. I hate to admit it, but I felt like I'd done a pretty good job. The dizziness was fading a bit.

I gave him a nod. "Yes, it is."

He returned the nod. "I think she'd like that."

I hoped the two spirits would be able to see this. And I hoped they'd be happy. At the moment, though, I couldn't feel satisfied. Syaoran still seemed depressed. I had a feeling it had to do with something more than just the death of his lover, and his big brother and mentor. It's like he needed _more_ to worry about.

I decided to speak up about it. "...You're troubled. A blind person could figure it out."

His hand drifted to his right eye. Inwardly, I cringed. Oops.

"No offense," I quickly added.

"None taken," he answered.

I took an even breath, not sure how far I wanted to push him. I settled on a simple, if slightly hesitant "...What's wrong?" I really wondered how many times I'd have to ask him this.

"I...guess I just don't know what I am anymore. What I'm out here for, my purpose."

The 'I don't know what I am' part made me tense. I couldn't help but silently hope that he hadn't worked out that he was a clone. How _could_ he have worked that out...? As for his purpose...

"To keep me out of trouble?" I suggested, giving a tentative laugh. A slight smirk appeared on Syaoran's face, though I noted that it was really dry.

"...I'm actually talking about my existance and who I am as a person."

Inwardly, I cringed. How the hell had he worked this out? My eyes narrowed at him, and I wondered if he'd back up his statement with anything. Instead, he turned away. I could pretty much sense that there were words he was keeping unspoken, that he probably didn't want to say. As he headed for the trees, though, I knew that it wouldn't help him in any way if he kept them bottled up. And it certainly wouldn't help me work out the problem. I grabbed his shoulder and kept a firm grip. He took a long, almost painful breath, and whispered, almost inaudibly, "...How long have you known that I'm probably not even real...?"

Is the right description for this situation 'existential crisis'?

"You're real, Syaoran-kun," I told him, trying to keep my voice gentle. "There's no doubt about it."

"Then _why_ am I doubting it!? He asked. I could tell that he was so close to either a rant or a breakdown that at didn't even respond. It probably would've frustrated him more. "How long have you known that I'm just a clone of someone else!?" He was yelling now. "I shouldn't even exist. I shouldn't even have emotions! I shouldn't even be talking to you, I should probably be trying to kill you! Even the person who gave me a heart regrets letting me keep it!!"

That last part was news to me.

"How do you know all that?" I asked, probably a bit roughly. Sure, everyone had a time where they need to rant, but I was already a bit tense from the burial. I almost expected him to lie. OK, I'll admit it: I wanted him to, because I wanted a reason to yell at him as well. I'm not proud of that. However, he didn't lie.

"He told me himself. If it weren't for him, I'd be a murderer, and he regrets letting me keep my soul. He believes I let Sakura die, because I wasn't strong enough to protect her! What...What am I supposed to do now!? Where am I supposed to go from here!?"

...Yikes. How anyone can keep all that bottled up...I'd say 'is beyond me,' but it actually hits far too close to home. I felt as if his stress was building up on me. I didn't like seeing him this upset. Usually, he was pretty calm.

"...Syaoran-kun, sit down."

I didn't let him have a choice, otherwise, he might've objected. A little harshly, I forced him to sit down. I couldn't recall ever being that rough to him.

"Pull yourself together, alright?" I said, almost snapping, only I tried to keep a level tone as well.

"How can I pull myself together if I was created by someone else for reasons I don't even know about!? For all I know, I wanted to collect the feathers because that's all I was made for, and I have no other purpose in life!"

...Damnit, that was probably true. Of course, I wasn't going to say that aloud.

"It doesn't have to be your purpose in life if you don't want it to be," I said after a moment's thought.

"Do I even have any control over that? I mean, my destiny's probably been planned out by a mad phscyopath!"

That was also true. For all of us. Which is probably why I tried comforting him instead of telling him to think something else.

"Stop going for the worse case scenario," I said. I gently placed a hand on his shoulder. _That's my job,_ I thought. "If your destiny was changed by the one who gave you a soul, then chances are, it's changed for good."

What I wanted to know was how and when this change of destiny had happened. But Syaoran probably didn't know either.

"...I was supposed to lose my soul. Maybe it would be better that way. You wouldn't have lost Sakura or Kurogane. I'd just...I don't know, go insane and start killing people, I heard."

That was something I really didn't want to think about, and I was sure he didn't want to either. I shook my head, both trying to make him feel slightly better and get the image out of my mind.

"What's happened has happened. Kurogane said you had a soul now-"

"The only soul I know of is one that's been given to me."

At that moment, I wished Kurogane were there to slap some sense into him. I didn't want to say 'only look forward,' because quoting Kurogane wasn't going to help if he'd died the day before. And I didn't want to slap him, because only Kurogane was allowed to do that. And I'm sure Sakura could've done a better job calming him down than I could've. Mokona, who was standing behind Syaoran, just seemed lost for words. Maybe it didn't know about Syaoran being a clone either. Probably not. Add two deaths, learning you're a copy of another person, (I still really wanted to know how he'd learned this anyway...), and the young age of sixteen (maybe younger, depending on when he was cloned)...damn, no wonder he was a mess. At least I'd gone through something this traumatizing before, for him, this was all new. (How old was I when Fai died...? Syaoran's age or older? I can't remember, the timeline was sort of convoluted.)

A soul was still a soul. I'd been saying that to myself since the beginning, when I met him. So that's what I told him.

"A soul, whether it's given or it's fake, is still a soul. It was created by Kurogane, Sakura, and everyone who cares about you. Are you really going to let yourself let go of it like this?"

He fell silent. I wondered if he was looking for something else to vent, or if he'd just worn himself out. Or both.

"...It's so much easier for you to say," he finally sighed.

"It probably is," I agreed in a whisper. I certainly wasn't a clone. (...Or...oh, who knows? If there's anything more convoluted than my own timeline, it's Fei-Wang Reed's plans for all of us.)

"...I'm sorry," Syaoran murmured. He was silent, and it took me a moment to realize he was crying. Now I couldn't help but feel guilty. I placed a hand on his shoulder, and once or twice I quietly muttered that it was alright. He didn't have to be sorry. Unlike me, at least he'd been able to come out and speak up about what was bothering him. I was still locking my problems away and smiling. I admired him for that.

"Kurogane, Sakura, Mokona, nor I think you have anything to apologize for," I assured him again when he took an even breath, finally recollecting his emotions. Mokona nodded vigorously and leapt onto his uninjured arm.

"Syaoran is Syaoran! It doesn't matter who gave him a soul, or who created him. Mokona doesn't care, nor does Fai, nor does anybody, so stop worrying about it, OK?"

Syaoran smiled. It seemed genuine. He scratched Mokona between the ears. It grinned, too. I smiled with them.

"Thanks. I'm sorry--"

Mokona beat me to the next statement: "Stop apologizing!"

"Right, sor--...I'm going to stop talking now."

We all laughed. I can't explain why, but I was so glad to hear us all laughing again. I had a feeling that moments of laughter would be few and far between.

"Maybe we should leave. This place holds...a lot of memories." We all looked back at the graves. Syaoran was forcing himself not to cry _again,_ which I admired him for, as I think I did cry a little bit. Maybe he'd just cried himself out, or maybe he was embarassed that he'd cried at all. I hoped he wasn't. No one would judge him for that.

"It's hard to believe they're gone." There was a tone of sadness in his voice. I nodded my agreement, and said quickly, before it slipped my mind, "It's no one's fault, OK?"

His hand hovered over his right eye. "That means you too, Syaoran."

...Huh? I cast him a strange look.

"I'll explain later," he promised. I nodded. Hesitantly, he added "...Do you think you can tell me the truth?"

Gah. I really owed that to him, didn't I? But I couldn't imagine myself telling him anything of what had happened. I bit my lip. "We'll see."

Mokona leapt back a bit further into the clearing, prepared to take us to the next dimension.

""How do we know if Kurogane and Sakura's souls are coming with us?" It asked nervously, looking around. "Mokona doesn't want to leave them behind..."

That was a good question, really. I glanced around uneasily, but my eyes stopped on a cherry blossom that was falling from the tree over Sakura's grave. It fluttered gently into Syaoran's hand. There was silence. (Lots of silences today.) He nodded. "She's here." Obviously, he was talking about Sakura. For some reason, that thought made me laugh, but I covered it. Mokona's question of "What about Kurogane?" made it go by completely unnoticed.

"...He didn't tell me he was coming. He might've decided to pass on, or whatever you're supposed to do other than become a wandering spirit when you die," Syaoran pointed out, though clearly he didn't sound thrilled.

"Kurogane-san? Pass on?" I heard my Kudan whisper inside my head. "I really don't think--"

There was a loud, rather harsh noise of someone getting smashed roughly over the head, and Syaoran yelped, more in surprise than pain, and fell foward.

The only thought that came out of that was a rather shocked '_What the heck did I just miss!?'_

I walked over to him, glancing around, a bit confused for a moment. I think I worked it out slightly before Syaoran did, and I couldn't help chuckle softly to myself.

"Second thought, yeah, he's here alright, come on, lets go," Syaoran announced, his tone a bit dry, but surprisingly slightly amused. There was the sound of disembodied laughter, which I'm sure in most cases would've been creepy. In this case, however, it made me smile. I helped Syaoran to his feet as Mokona leapt into the air.

"Mokona Modoki, ready to go?" It questioned. Syaoran and I both gave a nod, glancing back at Kurogane and Sakura's final resting places. For their bodies, at least. Who knew what there souls were allowed to do? I remembered my childhood, when Fai had died, and I'd come pretty close to dying a couple of times myself. I recalled there being a spirit involved in death, and near-death. It was a lot like Mokona. I couldn't remember its name, though. I had a feeling that if Sakura and Kurogane's souls were going anywhere with us, it would be involved. Until then, though, it really didn't matter.

"Fai gets lost in thought a lot," I heard my kudan laugh. Huh. I never thought about it, really. I suppose I do, huh?

We were inhaled.


End file.
